Seeing the Light

9:33 PM

Picture taken by me with Canon 7D
Lately I feel like I have been stuck in a funk.
I feel like everything that can go wrong is going to go wrong.
I'm always asking and/or telling myself  "Something is going to go wrong" or "It's my bad luck, AGAIN".
Basically being very negative about things and this doesn't mean that I'm un-happy; I feel like I have been in far worse situations and feel like I have survived some of the hardest things that could happen to me along with my loved ones.
But with that being said any time I attempt to do something I feel like its just my luck for something bad to happen or for me not to succeed.

This pertains to my family to work,  friends and that includes my blog.
I have not only felt very negative; I have also felt un-motivated and un-inspired in life.
There have been a lot of things that have played a factor in my feelings right now at this point in life.
At 24.
Maybe I'm having a mid life crisis (lol).
When I was younger I had made many goals to be in a certain stage in my life by the age of 25, which is really around the corner for me and I feel like right now I am no where near to where I need to be to achieve those goals.
Those goals included: Owning a NEW car, Owning a home, that I can call my OWN, and being financially independent.
I think these are goals in life that a lot of people share but we all have our own reasons for wanting these things in our lives.

For me Owning a new car has been a dream for so long, the fresh scent of a brand new car, a brand new engine and blank canvas to start my life with and overall something I can be proud to drive; compared to dealing with an old car with repeated issues.

For me Owning a home, means no more moving around from home to home with my family, no renting for the rest of my life. Having that safe heaven; Living in fear and knowing something will never be mine.

Being financially independent, not needing anyone else to bust there ass to take care of me, making my self work for everything I have made of my life.

I know most blogs are about being positive but let's be real negative thoughts cross all our minds at one point.
I think for me I need to get those goals out there in the Universe and just make my self remember why it is that I want to achieve those goals so badly.
I'm very blessed to have a family that is here for me, to have a boyfriend who is with me through thick and thin, to have co-workers who have become family who inspire me and who have taught me SO much that I will forever be grateful for.

Woah! These are a lot of thoughts that I have been holding in for so long, I really just want it all out there!
My goal is to be more positive and I know that's way easier said than done because I have said it before but it really is what I want to work on because I know with making that simple change everything will fall in place. ;)

For inspirational videos check out Jessica Harlow on YouTube. I think it's good to read motivational books and listen to inspiring people and you have no idea how many times I have been told to do so but I find it very boring, to be honest. One of the only books I enjoyed reading thought the end was The Magic, and every so often I like to read a chapter or two. But like I was saying I like listening to her short videos because one shes a girl, shes very motivating and I think it's more relatable to me at least as a girl and as a drama queen.

I hope you enjoyed this post & if you lasted the whole time please share your thoughts about this subject.
I would love to know that I am not alone. I also want to mention I look at this blog as my Diary, that's why I gave it that name, it's so much fun to go back and see what I was loving that month or how I felt that day or what I did and or wore on special occasions, this is why I wanted to share this moment (the bad) I want to be able to look back when I achieve these goals (the good) and remember it wasn't always easy and nothing was handed to me.

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